Keeping my head above water

Still here. We're planning on dIUI #2 (overall IUI #5) in April. We're also making some moves towards other options, nothing concrete yet, just preliminary stuff. I'm feeling a little better, although the last few weekends I have barely wanted to leave the house. It's much easier to be at home where I'm insulated from the outside world. I'm still seeing the acupuncturist, although since we aren't cycling I'm down to one session per week instead of three and I haven't been very good about drinking all of my tea every day. Oops.

I bought several adoption books for us to read, The Adoption Decision, The Family of Adoption, and Parenting Your Adopted Child. There doesn't seem to be a book (that I can find yet) written about embryo adoption/donation, so I'm of looking for a book on third-party reproduction to see if some of that can apply. 

I have come to a realization that if embryo adoption/donation does not work, I would like to go the egg donor route at some point so that I could have the opportunity to be pregnant. That's a really important thing to me and I realize that we may end up adopting domestically first and then maybe in a few years doing donor-egg. I have been perusing adoption agencies too and have found a couple of good contenders. They're located out-of-state but their philosophies fit better with our lifestyle and beliefs.

All and all we're both hanging in there. We're planning a massive road trip across the country for early-June and we're getting really exciting about that.

Son of ....

Argh. I started spotting Thursday night and then full-fledged bleeding/cramping Friday morning. This was a full eight days before AF normally starts and only ten days post-IUI. I called the clinic and let them know we'd be sitting this next cycle out. Nurse called me back and said that the early AF could be attributed to the fact that my lining was so thick, which is good for implantation, but if nothing implanted the lining probably just shed sooner. Hmmph. I really thought this might be it because of the symptoms/feelings I was having. Stupid uterus. Stupid old eggs.

We'll sit next cycle out to try to recover financially from the $3,000 we just dropped on this cycle. Hopefully, provided nothing ridiculous happens, we'll cycle again at the end of February.

F*cking infertility.

Now we wait

dIUI #1 is complete. We got to the clinic around 7:30AM yesterday morning and then waited for the sample to thaw, which took about an hour. We've done this before so it wasn't too unfamiliar for us. The donor counts (post-wash) were 44 million with 50% motility, which seemed low to me but the lab said it was "perfect". It took maybe five minutes and then the nurse had me lay down for fifteen minutes before we could leave. We spent that time cracking jokes and Doug kept finding objects in the room he could utilize in his woodshop (rolling stool, high powered gooseneck lamp). When we went home I situated myself in the Viparita Karani yoga pose until my back hurt. Then I just took to the bed doing the Maude Lebowski. Will any of this help? Probably not, but it made me feel like I was doing something. I asked about taking progesterone but the nurse said I didn't have to, which surprised me because the last IUI we did I was on progesterone during the 2WW. Ah well, I'm not a medical professional. At least not being on progesterone if I 'feel' any symptoms I'll know they're real and not induced by meds. Again I find myself trying to be optimistic but the realities of IUI working after IVF are pretty slim. But we shall see.

Follicle Report #3

How infertiles spend their weekend mornings: going to the clinic for bloodwork and ultrasound. I got to the clinic at 8:30 this morning, and was there for nearly an hour. Luckily there isn't too many people cycling right now so it was pretty quiet. My lining is at 10.5, thankfully I don't seem to have any lining issues. I have one 19mm follie on my left side and one 18mm and one 17mm on my right side. The nurse called and we're triggering tonight and the IUI will be Tuesday morning. Memphis is supposed to get snow/ice tonight and tomorrow so I hope that doesn't impact us too badly. I'm feeling a little better, still tired but not as bad as I felt earlier in the week. I think we'll probably put off IVF #3 until April/May. Classes start back next week and I feel like my body needs time to recuperate, plus it's just too hard to go to school and do IVF stuff.

I'm planning on taking Tuesday off, in the past when we've done IUI's I've just gone back to work, etc. This time I'm just going home and relaxing. And possibly hanging out in this yoga pose for awhile.

Follicle Report #1

I've been shooting up since Thursday night (or rather Doug has been shooting me up). 225IU per night and all I had this morning was one 13mm follicle on my left side and two smaller ones (not sure of exact size) on my right size. I was kind of bummed about this considering how much medications I've been taking. I guess I have to consider that I'm taking half the dosage I did for IVF. and the goal isn't to have as many eggs as possible. My instructions are to continue the 225IU for the next three nights and go back in Friday morning for more bloodwork/ultrasound. My best guess would be IUI Sunday but obviously I won't know for sure until Friday.

I don't feel nearly as bloat-y as I did with the IVF stimming. I have some pressure but nothing very uncomfortable. I have had a headache nearly every day since Friday and I'm sleepier than I have been but that's all for side-effects right now. 

We ordered our new donor Monday. Donor #6955 is a chemistry graduate student at Harvard and according to the lab staff he looks just like Mark Ruffalo. Ironic, considering he was just in a movie were he played a sperm donor.

Off to give my ovaries a pep talk.

And...we're off

Somewhere around 13 antral follicles this morning, which is a little lower than back in May. Hmmph.. Not sure about the estradiol number, but nurse said everything looks good. I start stimming tonight with 225IU of Bravelle and continue that until Tuesday morning when I go back in for ultrasound and bloodwork.

Pre-cycle Freakout

Right before the baseline ultrasound these are the things that I think about and that freak me out.

Is my FSH going to be higher?
Will my antral follicle count be okay?
What's my E2?
Please let me stim well, lots of follies!
But not so well that we have to cancel
Oh god am I going to run out of drugs? 
Twins would be manageable right?
Twins! Hah, you'll be lucky to get one good egg out of this cycle.
Am I having a hot flash?

Change of plans - again

So now we are cycling this month. We had to move some money around but on a wing and a prayer we're cycling. Bravelle is shipping today and my baseline ultrasound/bloodwork is tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed for no surprises or sudden jumps in FSH/E2 and a healthy AFC.