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Note: My husband and I are currently expecting our first baby after 7 years of infertility and 3 cycles of IVF. I have been writing blog posts since we found out but not publishing them until now (I’m currently 13 weeks). I’ll be posting one a day until I ‘catch-up’ to current time. I ask that if you know me ‘in real life’ that you not post about this on Facebook, because while we are ecstatic to be this far, we are still being very cautious.

Written November 28, 2011

On Saturday morning (November 19) I took a First Response Early Detection test at 6AM, I was 8dp3dt. At first I thought it was only showing one line and then, miraculously, another pink line appeared, not a faint one either, a real second pink line. I woke Doug up and made him come look at it. We both got very excited but we also knew not to get too excited. The next morning (November 20) I took another test, also two pink lines, this one slightly darker than the first. I continued this pattern for the next two days, the tests stayed positive and the lines grew a little darker. 

My first hCG test at 11dp3dt was positive at 130, which is higher than my highest beta last year during my chemical pregnancy. On Friday, 14dp3dt, my second beta test showed my hCG rose to 415 and the nurse told me I didn't have to come in for a third beta and they scheduled us for a viability ultrasound on December 12th. My doubling time was 43 hours, with a 219% increase and I *think* that's good. We decided to tell our immediate family on Thanksgiving and a few close friends on Friday after the second beta.

We have been so, so, so happy but we're both cautiously optimistic. We know all too well how many things can go wrong and this is only the first of many hurdles we have to pass. Every morning I'm scared I'm going to wake up to cramps and bleeding. The wait until the ultrasound seems like eternity and I'm afraid if we make it to the actual ultrasound then there won't be anything there. I'm afraid of a thousand things going wrong.

Thank God for Valium & Dr. Edwards

Retrieval is on for tomorrow. We have to be at the surgery center bright and early at 7:00AM. Last night Doug gave me my trigger shot, which didn't hurt as much as I had feared. I also started to take Estrace, which is an estrogen pill. They didn't tell me why I should take it but my I assume it's because my estrogen is lower than they'd like it to be. I was instructed to take a home pregnancy test this morning to make sure the HCG had been properly absorbed. It was very odd seeing an actual positive one, all the tests I've ever taken have been void of a second line.

I'm getting anxious, so thankfully I have the valium to take tonight before bed. There are so many things to worry about, Will they get enough mature eggs? Will they fertilize? If they do fertilize will they make it to day 3? Will the transfer go okay, etc. One hurdle at a time is what I keep telling myself. Plus I have no control of what happens after the eggs are out. All I can do is attempt to relax and take care of myself.  

In other IF-related news, the Nobel Prize was awarded to Dr. Robert G.  Edwards, one of the pioneers of in Vitro Fertilization. Of course it was awarded thirty-two years after the birth of the first 'test tube' baby. The sad part of the article was this “Unfortunately he is not in a position to understand the honor he has received today,” said Dr. Michael Macnamee, director of the Bourn Hall clinic and a longtime colleague of Dr. Edwards. Sad.

The news yesterday led to a other media outlets reporting stories of IVF, which I thought was nice. Then I started reading some of the awful comments from people, especially after this CNN story. Then I realized some people are just assholes.