While we wait (again) I'm trying to be better to my body. There are some things that I'm willing to do and other things I am not (like give up the one latte/dose of caffeine I have per day). I have started seeing Dr. Needles (the acupuncturist) again. I'm going once a week and I am not drinking the herbal crap 'tea'. I still enjoy acupuncture and I feel like it helps my stress level tremendously.
I have also started yoga again. It's been over a year and a half since I was regularly practicing. I'm taking a class at a local studio and it's a restorative/deep relaxation class so it's me and about four other women (and one guy). I'm the only person in the class without some type of injury/physical limitation. I just wanted to take a less strenuous class, which is how I ended up there. It's kind of silly sometimes because I can do the poses without the supportive props but I remind myself I'm trying to be gentle to my body.
I've started vitamins/supplements again. I'm taking a prenatal, Vitamin D, fish oil and CoQ10. I'm not doing the DHEA yet because it gives me headaches and acne, even in small doses. Last year at my annual exam my OB/GYN noted that in my bloodwork that my Vitamin D levels were lower than normal so I hope the supplement helps. I go back on the 13th for my annual exam so maybe there will be some improvement.
The overall goal I'm working towards is less stress, less negativity, less jealously and bitterness, more hope. It's always hard, especially in the midst of friends who are expecting/just had babies. I went to Target yesterday for some random things and when I walked past the baby aisle I lingered for a minute, it smells overwhelmingly like baby (clean baby, not baby-with-poopy-diaper). Sometimes instead of suppressing the daydreams about us as parents, I let them bounce around in my head and entertain the thoughts of Doug rocking a baby that is all ours. Not a niece or a nephew or a friend's baby, just 100% ours. It's a sweet daydream.