Monday, March 7, 2011

I hate everything

Well, actually I don't hate everything but today I hate a lot of things. My bosses gave me this new project to work on and it suuuuucks. They want it done a certain way but don't understand there are limits to what I can do. I'm on spring break this week from school but I still have homework and I have an 18-page research paper draft due the first class day back. This weekend we cleaned a little bit and we both realized we really need to hire someone to do a deep clean. We just don't have the time or energy for it. I'm so busy through the week that when Friday afternoon comes around I just want to hole up in the house until Monday. Usually I have a vegetable garden but so far I still haven't cleaned up last year's garden or even bought seeds. I feel overwhelmed with the things I have to do and the things I need to do. 

I (we) also can't really come to good decision on where to go next on this long and never-ending road to parenthood. I change my mind every day or some days every hour. I thought we'd cycle again in March/April but the more I think about it the more I believe my body needs a month in-between injectable cycles, especially considering the left ovary situation this month. Then I don't know if we should do another injectable IUI cycle or just save our pennies for IVF #3. There are just no simple or good answers. We've considered getting a second opinion like maybe at CCRM but holy heck it's expensive - even just for the initial testing, that we've already had done at our current clinic. Plus we'd have to pay to travel there on top of the more expensive IVF cycle fees. If we had an unlimited supply of money we'd just go straight to IVF #3. However, considering we don't have Celine Dion's IVF budget we can't do that. There are so many other things we'd like to use our money for, house repairs/upgrades, travel, etc. but instead we're using it to do what it costs other people nothing to do. Hate.

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