Wednesday, March 16, 2011


I feel like we're treading water right now. We thought we had a plan but the more we mull over our 'plan' the less sure we are of it. Do we really want to spend another $13,000 + on IVF 3.0 which does not guarantee that we'll be parents? Do we do another IUI? Do we move on? We're both tired of shelling out money and not getting any closer to our goal. I've had a really hard time these last few days, I'm just so mad. I'm probably on the verge of being depressed. Monday all I wanted to do was stay at home, knit and watch Criminal Minds. I realize this is not healthy. Yesterday I ate cereal for lunch and dinner and I skipped knitting night. I have never missed knitting night when I was in town, in fact the only times I've missed have been when I'm out of town.

I'm tired of having infertility hanging over our heads, we want to move on to something that will make us parents. I'm still not sure what we're going to do exactly. I'm so jealous of people who just magically wake up one day and 'know' what they're supposed to do. People who feel led to adopt or do whatever it is that will put them on  the path to parenthood. This whole situation just sucks.

1 comment:

  1. Hey April,
    Whoever told you there are people in this world who magically wake up and make a decision was a lier.
    People who magically make decisions are either being rash and not thinking them through, or have been mulling them over in the back of their minds for so long that the decision seems easy when it comes to the forefront. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. But just think it through the best you can. Make a list (I'm a big fan of those), talk to friends, or just go with whatever your gut tells you.
    But most importantly - I have a sense that you're being really hard on yourself. Please stop that, ok?