Monday, April 2, 2012

I'm still infertile

It feels weird to be "on the other side" of the IF battle. For seven years I've been in the battlefield. Some times forgetting we were infertile and other times not being able to stop thinking about it. Being pregnant, having a baby seemed like out of reach, unattainable goals. Now I'm pregnant and it still seems foreign to me that we're going to get a real, live baby. Pregnant or not I'm still infertile, we're still infertile. Doug is still sterile and my FSH is still higher than it should be and it still took us three rounds of IVF to get here. We're not cured and we never will be, I still define myself as infertile and when we (hopefully) become parents we'll still be infertile. Infertility has been awful but in some ways it's been good. It's been good because our marriage has become stronger, we have seen and felt support and love from so many friends and family. It's also been good because when this baby finally gets here we will do our best not to take anything for granted. I know that it's going to be hard to be a parent, to have a newborn, to miss sleep and all the other things that we do with ease these days, but it's going to be worth all the pain, the money, the procedures, the tears and everything else.

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