14wks

Written January 31, 2012

Second trimester! So very happy and grateful right now. I feel good, the last few nights I've managed to stay up until 9:30 or 10:00 before falling asleep. My sinuses are bothering me a lot, constantly runny nose, sinus pressure, sore throat from sinus drainage. I can't find any of the approved medicine on the list my doctor gave me. Most of it is 'plain' - plain Tylenol Cold & Sinus, plain Claritin, etc. I just can't find any of those. Right now I'm just taking steamy showers (not too hot though), drinking peppermint tea and honey and plenty of water. I did take regular Tylenol on Saturday because the headache pressure would not go away. I've been trying to avoid taking very much medicine but Saturday it was just awful. 

We've started telling a few more people, I told my secondary boss (the other one has know about IVF from the beginning) he was very happy for us and I think they're going to be pretty flexible about maternity leave/bringing baby to work for a few months. I work for a very small (like 11 people total) religious organization and we're too small to qualify for FMLA. However, I've worked here for almost seven years and I have a really good relationship with my boss so I think it will work out.

It's all starting to seem more and more real. This weekend Doug and I had to run an errand next to a Babies R Us and we decided to venture in, which felt very weird. I told Doug I felt like someone was going to see me and tell me I wasn't pregnant enough to be in there. We just wandered around looking at all the baby gear, apparently babies have a lot of gear. I wanted to buy something so I picked up a pair of tiny newborn socks with puppy ears & faces on them (I still say this baby is a boy but if it's a girl she won't mind puppy socks).

My worrying has gotten slightly less severe, but it's still there in the back of my mind. Mainly I'm concerned about the risk assessment coming back really high and/or something bad happening before 24 weeks (the earliest viability). It seems like a lot of us who have battled IF have bad things happen even after that positive beta. Anyway, I'm trying to think of less scary things, I've been dreaming of how I'd decorate the nursery for ages and Doug is totally on board with my plan so I think we'll start working on it mid-March. Plus we're considering going to the beach for a week in April. I really wanted to go elsewhere but I just don't think I can get on a plane and not be able to take a Xanax or have a glass of wine. My flying anxiety is off the charts without one of those things. So instead we'll just go somewhere we can drive to within a reasonable amount of time. I'd really like some time to just veg out and eat fresh crab.